If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
