she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
ok first of all what the fuck
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
