perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize