WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize