I could have mohawked her pubes.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
