I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
