Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
