I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
