oh god the rape fog is back!
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
