That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
