The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
