i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
