i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
