I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
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