That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
