What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
You ruined the universe
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
