I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
