Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
she peed on how many people?
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
