Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
