So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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