i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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