there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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