Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
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