SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
