I hate all girls vehemently.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
