Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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