Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
