1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
