I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
