I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
