I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
id be glad to
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
