As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
well you can't waste a boner
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
