You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
