Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize