Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
