is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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