Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
