This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
