Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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