I think i peed on brittanys purse
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
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