She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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