I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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