you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
