Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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