The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Randomize
