In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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