I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
