is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
being pregnant is like rehab
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
