That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
