My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
