yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I wish you could order shots online.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
be right there i have to get my cape
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
