dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
someone owes me an orgasm
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
