So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize
