I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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