remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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