bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
