I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Randomize