bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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