the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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