I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
