he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize