I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize