I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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