I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
All I want is dick and wine.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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