I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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