i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
