My first STD was from a foam party
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
