Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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