i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
