so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Randomize
