when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
