love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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