i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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