One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
i need some magic done to my vagina
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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