Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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